If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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