Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
