What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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