my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
