pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
