sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
