i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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