Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize