Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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