dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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