So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
