Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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