Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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