Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
