I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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