Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
