So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
