Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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