he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
