4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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