How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
