you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
