office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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