I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
