OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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