turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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