im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
