One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
