whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
