i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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