I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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