hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
