So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
