My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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