ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
