I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
