Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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