Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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