i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
COCAINE IS GR8
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
