my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
