Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
