sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
