Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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