Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You were trust falling into bushes
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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