One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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