Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
