Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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