I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
