I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
