I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
