I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
