i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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