my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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